Have you ever wondered why your life is the way it is compared to someone else’s life or why you aren’t able to succeed at what everyone seems to be succeeding at? Have you ever compared yourself to someone who seemed to have it all? Well if you have, then this blog post is for you.
The Hubby and I have had many conversations about goals that we plan to reach within a certain time frame and when I tell you that every time we have a conversation about something, it seems like I notice 1000 people doing exactly what we spoke about… And the craziest part is that I begin to compare. I begin saying to myself, why aren’t we on the same level as this person or why aren’t we succeeding in this area like that person. To be honest, we’ve both had to bring each other back to the present moment and make each other realize that comparing ourselves to others is not healthy. Comparing yourself to another is not only detrimental to your mental but also to your emotional health. What you are doing is saying to yourself that you are not as good as the person you’re comparing yourself with and that is why you feel the need to look at them through the eyes of unworthiness or not being good enough. BUT NO, YOU’RE WRONG! You are good enough and you are smart enough. You just have to put in the WORK to get where they are.
Sadly, we all look at someone when they are on level 10 and compare ourselves with them when we’re only on level 3. How is that fair to you? You are setting yourself up for failure. You insult yourself when you compare! Comparing gives a false sense of reality. Your level 3 cannot be the same as someone else’s level 10. They’ve put in the work, struggled, failed, tried, tried and tried again. You have to put in the same work. You have to start from the bottom and WORK your way up to whatever level of success you desire. It doesn’t happen overnight, although today’s society makes it seems like it does. It takes time and WORK. In this day and age we want everything right away. Most of our generation has some degree of entitlement. Do you think Oprah’s success happened overnight? What about the level success of J.K Rowling has accomplished? Nope, definitely not. They failed multiple times and were rejected hundreds of times before opportunity met their preparation. Unfortunately, we have a skewed point of view. Social media convinces us that all we have to do is “go viral” and BOOM, we’ll be successful. While this can happen. It is not the norm.
Even after all the hard work and when you’ve reached your version of level 10, it still may not look the same as the other person’s level 10. The reason being is because their journey and route to success is a part of their journey. No two roads are the same and never will be. This is why comparing is not healthy. When you compare you will never be comparing apple to apples. It’s impossible. You will always be comparing apples to oranges. Always keep in mind you are comparing yourself to a completely different person, on a totally different journey. So again how is comparing fair to you?
Here are 3 techniques that help me keep my emotions in check and not compare:
1. Write down small goals, both short term and long term and check them off the list as you achieve them. I try not to overwhelm myself by thinking that I must achieve 20 goals within 5 days. Instead I break my goals up over a few days or weeks. That way it doesn’t create unnecessary stress.
2. I monitor my personal progress. I ask myself how far have I come and I acknowledge and celebrate that achievement. By doing this, I celebrate myself and the progress I’ve made. This helps me appreciate the journey, which then encourages me to continue moving forward.
3. I embrace the journey. At the end of each day, I take a progress report of all I wanted to accomplish and then what I actually completed. If I completed all of the tasks, great. If not, then I have tomorrow. I remember that with every task I complete it puts me one step closer to my end goal. I take everything one day at a time. I can’t worry about what Susan is doing because Susan may have been doing that for 5 years. I take time to embrace my personal journey.
I am not perfect and I sure have my days when I still find myself in that comparing zon,e but once I realize where I am, I redirect my thinking to stay focused on my journey. No one will travel our path for us and we definitely can’t travel someone else’s.
Until next time!